While the physical burdens of fertility treatments, such as fertility drugs, cycles, and embryo transfers, often fall more heavily on women, the emotional toll of infertility is equally significant for both partners. Infertility can be just as emotionally taxing for men as it is for women, though their experiences and expressions of this stress may differ. With male-factor infertility accounting for one-third of IVF cycles in Australia, it is crucial to address and de-stigmatise men’s mental health issues related to infertility.

Here are some critical aspects of men’s emotional journey through infertility:

Feeling Helpless and Out of Control

Many men report feeling helpless and out of control during fertility treatment. The passive role in medical procedures and inability to “fix” the situation can be particularly challenging for men, who often feel a strong desire to solve problems.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Infertility can be an emotional rollercoaster for men, involving feelings of denial, grief, hopelessness, and eventually acceptance and hope. The journey often comes after years of trying and failing to conceive naturally, which takes an emotional toll.

Supporting Role Challenges

Men frequently see their primary role as supporting their female partner through the physical and emotional challenges of fertility treatment. While this support is crucial, it can lead to men neglecting their own emotional needs and feeling left to fend for themselves emotionally. 

It is important to remember that men want to be parents as much as women do. There is no difference between their goals and desires, but most of the focus is on the female partner.

Societal Pressure and Stigma

There is still a stigma surrounding male infertility, with some men feeling “less manly” if they cannot conceive naturally. This can lead to feelings of failure and sadness that are often not openly expressed or acknowledged.

Coping Strategies

1. Recognising that men are also undergoing fertility treatment, even if not physically.
2. Practising self-care.
3. Open up and communicate: Break the stigma surrounding male infertility by talking about your experiences. Share your feelings with your partner, a trusted friend, or family member. Consider joining a support group or seeking professional counselling to process your emotions and learn from others in similar situations.
4. Practice stress-reduction techniques: Engage in activities that help manage stress and improve overall well-being. This can include meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, or regular physical activity. These practices can help reduce anxiety and improve your mental state during the infertility journey.

Impact on Relationships

Infertility can put a significant strain on relationships. However, it can also bring couples closer together as they navigate this challenging journey.

Hope and Healing

It’s important to remember that men’s emotional experiences during infertility are valid and deserve attention and support.

Resources:

1. A Male’s Perspective on Coping with Infertility, The Psychology Group (2024).
2. Let’s hear it for the boys: Men’s mental health and infertility, IVF Australia (2023).
3. Male infertility and an IVF journey, Twins Trust (2023).
4. Men, Fertility and Emotions, Complete Fertility (2021).