For those who have never lost a baby or experienced a pregnancy-related loss, the term “rainbow baby” may not be familiar. For those who have, it holds great or even a profound value.

A healthy baby delivered or adopted following a miscarriage, infant loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death is referred to as a “rainbow baby.” The term “rainbow baby” refers to the notion of a rainbow emerging in the sky following a storm.

If you’re expecting a rainbow baby, here are some of the things you may experience.

Rainbow babies are frequently referred to as “miracle” babies because of the significant influence they can have on parents’ ability to move past a painful loss. Rainbow pregnancies, however, can also cause intense emotions of fear, guilt, and worry while having conflicting emotions of honouring a baby who has died while celebrating one that’s healthy.

Eventually, new mental health challenges may arise like stress, anxiety and depression. If you’re experiencing any of these issues, work with a counsellor or mental health professional to get the help and care you need if this time is difficult.

It’s challenging enough to handle an emotional rollercoaster when you’re hoping for or expecting a rainbow baby. Regretfully, you could also have to put up with remarks from those in your life that aren’t very helpful.

Pregnancy is often portrayed as something that is guaranteed, as if losing a baby never occurs. ​Parents who suffer a loss find it even more difficult because of the way that pregnancy is seen in the public eye. People who don’t know what they’re going through could be surprised to learn of a stillbirth or miscarriage and then it hurts more when they pass comments about it.

Try your best not to let these people or toxic remarks infiltrate your mental space. Oftentimes, the other person is genuinely trying to be helpful, they just don’t know what to say. You could explain to them why their remark affected you and suggest something they could say in its place, if you feel comfortable doing so. Or you could work with a therapist for more fitting coping strategies. However, you should never allow the negativity of another individual to affect you.

Guilt is a common feeling for parents who welcome a rainbow baby, as they may feel that excitement about the new pregnancy or loving their new baby is a betrayal of the baby they lost. These parents need emotional support during the pregnancy and birth, and may also feel guilt if they are perfectly happy after a new baby arrives. Parenting in all forms can still be challenging, and having a rainbow baby doesn’t magically make all aspects of parenting magical.

It’s normal to experience a range of emotions while welcoming a rainbow baby, as well as those that might linger following any pregnancy loss. If you experience severe mood swings, depression, thoughts of harming yourself or others, or have any concerns about your mental health, reach out to a counsellor, therapist, or health care provider. Remember that pregnancy loss is not your fault, and you are not alone. Health care providers can suggest resources for outside support, and online websites can offer reassurance and education.

Every rainbow parent will experience parenting again differently, and there can be a wide range of emotions surrounding expanding your family. The term “rainbow baby” is becoming more mainstream, raising awareness around loss and healing. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, and parents should honour the past and create new traditions with their rainbow baby to celebrate their new, miraculous life.

A rainbow baby can bring joy to a family that has been affected by a deep, painful loss. And grieving that loss long after your rainbow baby arrives is OK and even healthy. Having another child won’t ever be able to replace the one you lost, after all. However, they might just add a little brightness and beauty to your surroundings.

If you experience severe mood swings, depression, thoughts of harming yourself or others, or have any concerns about your mental health, reach out to a counsellor, therapist, or health care provider. Remember that pregnancy loss is not your fault, and you are not alone.

References 

1. What to Know About Having a Rainbow Baby, Parents (2023).
2. What is a rainbow baby?, Healthline (2018).
3. What is a rainbow baby?, Cleveland Clinic (2023).